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hands dabbled in blood. [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | filthee apathee ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

2 coma white's X blood splatter

[17 Nov 2003|06:07pm]
god. last post, i swear. (just because everyone still knows me from here)

yes, i'm having a big party saturday.
no, you cannot come.
no, you cannot bring a friend.
no, you cannot bring your boyfriend or girlfriend.
yes, you can stop fucking being selfish and annoying me now.

i fucking hate people. i'm ready to call the whole goddamn thing off.

5 coma white's X blood splatter

it's all over. [16 Nov 2003|08:22pm]
[ mood | pissed off. ]

this journal is now dead.

i've only added a few of you to my new one.

the rest of you can either talk to me, or rot in hell, depending on who you are.

new journal: our_sadderday

4 coma white's X blood splatter

this explains too much. and none of you will even read it throughly. [20 Oct 2003|08:23pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

Conscious self
Overall self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Scale (|||||||%) results:
Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||| 42%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 3 Ambition |||||||||||| 42%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||| 50%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 34%
Type 8 Hostility |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 9 Calmness |||||| 26%
Your Conscious-Surface type is 4w5
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 5w4
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

8 coma white's X blood splatter

creating our own language. [03 Sep 2003|11:12pm]
[ mood | loved ]

x starJUNK: you're so fucking beautiful

i hadn't heard that in a year.

x starJUNK: it will be sad...

would you believe me if i said i forgot to breathe then?

and yes, you are.

20 coma white's X blood splatter

[24 Aug 2003|08:25pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

i'm deleting this... but i have a new live journal. it won't be so much ranting, but more writing and thoughts. i will not add you unless you specifically ask or let me know you'd to be on my friends list, which will be the only way you can view my new journal. this goes for everyone, too (okay, unless you're the incredible morgane, but that's the only exception).



when you say my name i want to split it from your lips / hot like whispers in the rain. / when you say my name i want to stop it in your lungs and collect all of your blood to put in the radio. /// this how it feels when you don't even fit into your own skin and its getting tighter / if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear. /// they stole the love from our lives and put the sex on the radio.

5 coma white's X blood splatter

it's just five stories falling. [24 Aug 2003|01:19pm]
[ mood | immune. ]

Broken down in bars and bathrooms / All I did was what I had to / Don't believe me when I tell you / it's just what anyone would do / Take the time to talk about it / Think a lot and live without it / Don't believe me when I tell you / it's something unforgivable / You never knew / well i never told you... / Everything I know about breaking hearts / I learned from you, it's true / I've never done it with the style and grace you have / But I've made long term plans / based on these mistakes / Is this what you call tact? / I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back / so let's end this call, / and end this conversation / there's nothing worse... / I swear, you have no idea / The jealousy that became me thinking / that you always had it way too easy / Best friends means I pulled the trigger / Best friends means you get what you deserve.



4 coma white's X blood splatter

changes. [28 Jul 2003|06:58pm]
oh. by the way. my aim screen name died.
new one: heartsicklips

i lost my buddy list, so be kind and throw a message at me.

6 coma white's X blood splatter

thoughts. [26 Mar 2003|04:36pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

The needs of a writer are ridiculous. We feed like toddlers on the sweet, sacred milk of our creative mothers. Inspiration, in all its goodness, is the nutrition we seek. And like crazed peasants dancing naked in the great Forest of Shadows, we scream with glee in the silence of the gods and goddesses.

Our appetites stem from the most basic instincts of human behavior. There are moments when nothing else matters but the immature satisfaction of the infinite NOW. We are infants in a world of tyrant giants ... pretending to be free.

1 coma white's X blood splatter

description can eat me alive. [17 Jan 2003|07:00pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

[x ] Spell your first name backwards - xxmp - keep - eegiap
[x ] The story behind your LJ user name - sparrow, my word on my sexuality. brick, because.. you'd have to know me. // parandroid - paranoid android... describes me [oh, and yes, i like radiohead.]
[ x ] Are you a lesbian - sparrow.
[ x ] Where do you live - in my bedroom, or the computer room. or, cary/apex north carolina
[ x ] 4 words that sum you up - artistic/musical, secretive/deceitful, sensetive, goofy
[ x ] Wallet - two different nightmare before christmas ones, and a red one that says bad kitty with lots of chains attatched.
[ x ] Hairbrush - black
[ x ] Toothbrush - one is dark blue and blue, or the other is silver and purple
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - usually a cross under my shirt - the one my grandmother gave me. if im wearing "metalhead" clothing then ball chains, a band necklace that matches the band on my shirt. when i'm in ravegear, beads, obviously. uhh... when i sleep i wear a ring baby gave me.. i dont know why, but it comforts me. and i have way too many different braclets that i change, so they're not daily.
[ x ] Pillow cover - leopard cheetah type ordeal going on. court has a lot of different character ones from when i was little that i gave her last year, though.
[ x ] Blanket - black with something about bacardi written in silver, heh. my grandmother gave it to me, too. blue has that, but otherwise, i have a few baby/infantal blankets in my closet.
[ x ] Coffee cup - i don't care enough to care
[ x ] Sunglasses - i miss my oakleys! god damnit. i lost both pairs. argh.
[ x ] Underwear - thongs are comfortable to me, though i LOVE my boxers. heheh. my favorites are probably all my different nightmare before christmas // crow regular underwear, my butch thong, my kittie thongs, and my my ruin thongs, and my black flame boxers and my checker boxers!
[ x ] shoes - i have a couple of pairs i really like, but just don't wear.. my black vans, the red vans, white vans, some old chucks. i do wear my combat boots or dr. martens, airwalks, different chucks, or paths skating shoes, and sometimes my etnies skating shoes or es skating shoes if i really feel like it. wow.. i like shoes... i wont even go to all my old goth boots i dont wear.. eek.
[ x ] Purse - i really heart my dark dickies one, i lost my red and black dickies one though :x and i sometimes use my emily one or my nightmare before christmas one
[ x ] Favorite top - any of my nightmare before christmas ones i dont wear, my invader zim ones i barely wear, my otep or my ruin or manson and cradle of filth shirts my mother took away.. argghh. uh.. my squee! shirt, eek.. uh... the abercrombie one i have that i get to make fun of a&f with.. and my checkered ones and pin stripe ones.. woohoo
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - heavenly or angel by vics secret, thinking of you, black widow, rotten grrl
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - portable-my ruin-prayer under pressue of violent anguish. my room-deftones-white pony/badboybill-bangin' in london/otep-sevas tra/pantera-cowboys from hell/bikini kill-pussy whipped
[ x ] Tattoos - none yet ;|
[ x ] Piercings - technically none, but i'd still love to think i have my special thirteen holes.. ;]
[ x ] What you are wearing now - baggy black pants with x's on them, two black tank tops, long sleeved black shirt with rotten in red, a black shirt type of sweater thing with red stars down the sleeves, high black socks, black bra, and red and white checkered boxers
[ x ] Hair - it needs to be cut, properly. not by me in eighth period in the bathroom with some friends. eek. and i think im going dye the front bang things bright dark purple or pink...
[ x ] Makeup - none

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)
[ x ] In my mouth - a little pink lightstick, and a watermelon blow pop
[ x ] In my head - way too fucking much
[ x ] Wishing - "i wish you would just go away.." - cold.. yeah, i'd like to be left alone by some people...
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - steph&mary in florida.. i'm antsy to see them ;] or my little cary mallrat crew because i havent seen them forever, well, some of them anyways.. [anne, jj, josh, heidi, sarah, scotty, leslie, nick, jamie, etc...] i'd like to see nonie, rachel, and of course, britty.
[ x ] Is next to you- tally [my pug puppy.. yay!] is on my lap and dutchess [my sweet but big german shephard] is on the floor across the room..
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - oh god, i am so the wrong person to ask this... nightmare before christmas, the crow, girls cant swim, the beach, monsters inc, sid + nancy, slc punk, nosferatu, powder, shawshank redemption, catch me if you can, american history x,
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - a month closer to summer.. SURFINGGGGG and snowboarding...wooohoooo.. and going to the shore to see my grandmother and hopefully bringing some friends and playing with downside again and that means lotssss of super hot groupie type fan girls. yessssss!
[ x ] The last thing you ate - your girlfriend. with lots of ice and pop rox. and damn. she tasted good.
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - my past.
[ x ] Do you like candles - yessssss... candles are nice..
[ x ] Do you like hot wax - ohhhhh yess.. woohoo..
[ x ] Do you like incense - mmhmm
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - ::has an orgasm:: ah.. feed me...
[ x ] Do you believe in love - i wish i didnt at times.. but, yeah.
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - yeah... and i wonder if ive found and then lost mine...
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - i believe in infatuation and obsession at first sight, but not necessarily love.. and anyways, if so, that's just vain and fucked up.
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - no
[ x ] Do you believe in forgiveness - yes
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - part of me wants to be in the ocean.. it makes more sense then just taking up space ... but grave yards are SO beautiful and i have a lot of grave heads i all ready have picked out.. so eeeeeh,, i dunno.
[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - myself, honestly.
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet,what would it be?- TALLLLLLY hehehe! my pug is the best.. but anyyy animal? i'd probably have a panda, i think they'd be fun to cuddle with ;]
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - eight days... lets not go into it.
[ x ] Ever been to Belgium - nope
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - yup
[ x ] What's your favorite coin - er.. a flat peney with METAL pressed into it.. heh.
[ x ] What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to - London, New York City, Chapel Hill, Seattle, and god kill me for even saying this,.. but probably somewhere in hawaii.. so i can surf. ::slams head:: god, killl me for that.
[ x ] What are some of your favorite pig out foods - i don't "pig out"... but uh, the foods i like are sweet potatoes, pop tarts, blow pops, pixie sticks, sour punch straws, sour patch kids and candies like that, any kind of fruit [mostly], french fries, most kinds of bread [not like, a white loaf of bread, but .. FUCK! i dont know.. good damn bread...].... yeah...
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - i wish people would understand me.. or, at least accept me.. the things about me, that i wont change.. not because i dont necessarily want to, but because i cant or dont know how to..
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - lots of peoples minds
[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - courtnie // courtney and rae and coury // teddy!!!! // downside, tactix, crewzsur, and the other great hardcore bands and the kids in the scene // yumika // channeeeeeeeee // shannon!... // my girls mostly, though... i love you girls. likdafy.

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